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Bikini Bar Tips

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In the interest of building valuable “life knowledge” and in the altruistic spirit of helping my fellow humans, over the last two years I have made the personal sacrifice of flying tens of 1000s of miles, caning the arse out a ton of cash and spending 1000s of hours in Bikini bars so that I may make mistakes that you wont have to. Here is my Bikini bar guide – experience, rather than opinion based – if you are new to Bikini bars, you’d do well to read.

Do’s

  • Leave unwanted stuff safely at home – credit cards, expensive camera, wife.. etc
  • Bring a budget that you would be happy spending 100% off
  • Take everything with a pinch of salt
  • Talk to anyone about anything you want to – anything goes, fun or serious, get it off your chest
  • Meet lots of different girls, not just the one that latched onto you when you came in
  • Try lots of different bars – the more the better!
  • Check your bill VERY carefully – some bars often make “calculation error accidents” – strangely always in their favour..
  • Leave belongings such as bags, laptops, girl friends etc in a  SAFE place (for instance, in your house)
  • Remember to keep some money back for the taxi home and some food – hardcore bar-goers should get in the habit of putting a 1000 peso note in the shoe, for emergency use when all other funds are depleted!
  • Try to keep things focused on your night in the bar, not the private problems that the girls may ask you for help with – it’s really not your job to pay the latest instalment on her phone, rent or a cow…
  • Be nice, a bad attitude may come back and bite you in the arse at a later date..

Don’t

  • Don’t go to the bar with the idea of saving money
  • Don’t be shy of the girls – they all want drinks and will be happy if you call them over – it’s their job, you really don’t have to “pull” them, likewise you don’t need to text your mum and mates to celebrate if one has a drink with you
  • Don’t get carried away and think the lovely you are with would make a great girl friend or wife – she has already made a great bar girl and probably plenty of people happy already
  • Don’t let the girls order drinks – for themselves and for their friends – if you thought you spent a lot of cash on a bender at home, you’ll be surprised just home much you can spend in a bar when things go haywire
  • Don’t get sucked in by the girl’s problem stories, bullshit and bollox – it’s not your problem and it will just go on and on, they know how to survive by themselves already – they will survive again without your help – and if times are so hard, why has she got a better phone than you?
  • Don’t give or lend the girls money – if you want to help them, buy them a few drinks, would you pay a girl’s rent at home if she asked you?
  • Don’t take shit from pushy Mamasans. Put them straight and if they can’t take it, find another bar – remember you are the one paying ½ a local day’s wage plus for one drink, they are there to give you a good time.
  • Don’t be shy to kick off if something seems wrong, sometimes girls, mamasans, bar maids and managers will try and scam you
  • Don’t get blasted more than 3 nights in a row on Red Horse, it will start to send you scatty and bo-ang >>read the Red Horse guide!
  • Don’t go to the bar too often – just keep things in perspective, enjoy them- then do something else, remember the filipines also has beautiful resorts & hot beaches, spas as well as hot bea-itches & bars!

10 Responses to “Bikini Bar Tips”

  1. paul says:

    fucking hilarious! better phone! exactly!

  2. Bartender says:

    Yes 5000php is more than enough to spend each day unless ur barfining girls every night then you will need more like 10000php for them their drinks their barfine ur food travel etc etc. But doesnt really matter you shouldnt have to be trying to save money there as you came for fun right?

  3. Himself says:

    Lol wtf, 5000 is more than enough if u dont hit the bars every day.. Get a life u sorry ass korean wannabe

  4. johnthomas says:

    5000 pesos for BJ ??
    more like 500 pesos,,
    an aussie showed me the ropes in cebu,,

  5. MR. Right says:

    Mr Mofo – get a job! 5000 pesos will get u a nice BJ from a lady boy. You must be a UK bloke with no money……lol. Have fun cheap A$$.

  6. rob says:

    The Blue Angels Bikini Bar is great, I was there over 3 weeks, lovely girls, great times.. some pretty romantic experiences… regards to Chris and Max, sorry I hurt your feelings Erna.

  7. Mr Mofo says:

    Great advise going in November alone budget 5000 a day encluding accommodation is this enough??

  8. lil_geils aka.PIPOY says:

    nangita ko og mga matrona..
    add nya ko sa y.m
    lil_geils.

    ok??
    kanang malingaw pako ha,,

  9. Bill says:

    mate what is your number as im currently in Africa working me and some of my mates are interested… can u send me an email billward1977@yahoo.com.au

    cheers

  10. Rick says:

    I have a bikini bar i would like to sell,,,cheap!

    To many beautiful girls to much booze,,,my wife is divorcing me if i dont sell it

    304 634 5156