Red Horse Beer – the devil’s own juice!
“Experience the distinct full-flavored taste and extra satisfying strength of a world-class premium strong beer” – would you sell your soul for a drink?
The Wolf..
Looking innocent enough, and enjoyed by MILLIONS of Filipinos, any foreigner could be forgiven for easily falling into a false sense of security with this wolf in sheep’s clothing. Touted as “strong beer” – we might also make comparisons with the like of Stella AKA “wife beater” from the UK. Do not be fooled my friend! At least with Stella you know what you’re dealing with, San Miguel don’t even list the alcohol strength on the bottle – which leaves everyone guessing it’s true alcohol content! Actually, it doesn’t actually taste that strong – if it is alcohol, then I’d guess it at around 5.5%.
“Devil Water”
Interestingly, San Miguel light (which if you have tried it is undeniably light) is listed at 5.5% ABV – impossible, when you consider Stella is 5.3% ABV and certainly far more potent than a San Miguel light – which I would guess to be more around the 3.5% ABV mark. Enough about San Miguel Light – lets leave that one for the sensible, back to Red Horse..
The Kick..
In parts of Africa there are tribes of natives that are unable to digest milk because they don’t have the right enzyme to break it down, likewise the Japanese enzymes for breaking down alcohol are much reduced in their effectively compared with westerners – hence why the Japanese get far more drunk on less and stay drunk for far longer. “So what”, I hear you say, “Get to the point!” – just be patient oi, I am getting there! My point is this – red horse has some very strange effects on foreigners as far as I can see – an effect known only too well to bar owners who NEVER sell Red Horse in their establishments.
Perhaps westerners, in a similar trait to the Japanese and Africans mentioned previously, do not possess an effective enzyme in their guts to do justice to Red Horse in a timely manner! The seemingly harmless Red Horse is easily consumed, but the effects and intoxication, in the absence of an effective enzyme to keep it in check, become cumulative and reach staggeringly high levels in the unsuspecting foreigner. Compounding the issue is my suspicion that there is something more “odd and sinister” at play when it comes to Red Horse intoxication – perhaps it is brewed with the Filipino local equivalent of an active psycho-stimulant, like the peyote cactus, in which lives the worm that gives true Mescal or Tequila it’s “drug like” effects. I wonder what that Active” ingredient could be – perhaps a rare strain of cockroach, found only in the San Miguel Brewery and nowhere else?
“Devil Water”
In my observation, Filipinos seem to be able to drink any amount of Red Horse, whilst of course getting drunk during the event, BUT not necessarily showing the same traits that a “Red Horse” intoxicated westerner might. What are the indications of a foreigner that Drinks Red horse regularly?
1) Drinking Red Horse quickly becomes a habit – shortly after, a way of life.
2) The foreigner, by day, actually looks a little like a Red Horse! – Well, at least red-faced with a bloated belly
3) Loss of temperature regulation. Drink RH and the next day, you will sweat like pig and be completely at the mercy of the Filipino climate – without RH, you’re body is in with at least a fighting chance of dealing with it.
4) Fuzzy head – embarrassing when you cant recall your girl friends name for the 3rd time in a week!
5) Various life – changing events relating to the ensuing chaos during your last Red Horse session!
My advice, to the foreigner, is to treat this devil-water with the respect it deserves – get complacent, and just like a real horse, you could receive a swift and nasty kick – and if you are doubly unlucky, direct to your doodahs!
A comprehensive study
For clarification, I have listed some useful and sensible notes below:
Red Horse
• Can be drunk, but dangerous and poisonous.
• Can make any type of “riding” troublesome.
• Does not need a real “stable” if you want to keep one, just a refrigerator.
Red Bull
• Safe to drink
• Makes riding safe
• Also, no stable required – just a ref
A Real Horse
• Don’t try to drink ever.
• Can be ridden safely with experience
• Does not fit well in your Ref – better to put in a stable
• Can nearly kill you if it turns nasty and kicks you, but still FAR SAFER than Red Horse
Red Wine
• Safe to drink
• Does not need either a Ref or Stable
Deadly Poison
As you can clearly see from the above, the obvious choice for the foreigner is Red Wine. Just to make sure, over the course of two years I have downed over 2000 Red Horse and now can conclusively confirm that it is extremely poisonous to foreigners and should be treated with suspicion and care, however it is advisable to also conduct your own “Human Testing”.
[...] Red Horse [...]
“Experience the distinct full-flavored taste and extra satisfying strength of a world-class premiun strong beer”
Red Horse Extra Strong Beer.. The only horse in the world that no foreigner can tame. It kicks very hard and knocks the sane out of your membrane!
If you are a foreigner and you’re insanely thinking of challenging this devil horse into a fight to the death then you my friend is already insured with a memorial plan. NOBODY WALKS OUT ALIVE! (or at least sane enough to speak his name clearly)
WARNING : This beer right here makes macho guys into ballet dancers so NEVER DRINK THIS BEER ALONE!
It’s ethidrine mixed…
laking BEER Brand kami!
cool i like red horse.. it tastes great
hehehehehe… a life without red horse is like a life without s3x
Red Horse is the beer that rocks! The official Rock n’ Roll Beer… If you want to rock, you know the drill! Cheers!
Nice chill and simon his like innocent english man but its not…
[...] too much “devil juice” – it flows freely here and is pretty [...]
Drink Red Horse Beer – it’s the dEviL’s dRInK!
And it makes you not give a f-ck about anything!
i can’t live without Red Horse.. Red Horse is my blood.. hahaha
Thanks si..
Friday Night – Time to take a quick dip with Devil in his Murky waters!
And – those waters were SO murky…
I tried the Red Horse. By the end of the night the horse was more like a gentle pony at the carnival. I wish I could have some everyday.
I think Red Horse would be perfect for me:
It comes highly recommended from a local.
I already have a red face and bloated belly so no one would notice the change.
I have been a practicing alcoholic since about the same age as that baby.
Water is the devil, it rusts your pipes
I just bought a 6 pack, never tried it.. stay tuned to the aftermath comment.
Holy Jesus! 2 got me good already. 4 more to go…
After every session on this stuff my girl won’t talk to me for days lol ! and i thought i was having a sensible night, there must be parts i do not remember!
I went to the Philippines for 4 days, drank red horse non stop….and as a result I have a 5″ scar on my leg. Split my leg wide open down to the muscle wrecking my motorcycle. It’s still my favorite beer. The red horse you find in the U.S. isn’t as good though.
A six pack? Where are you shopping Fred?
Haha – nice story about the Motor Cycle – Yeah I have a small collection of war wounds, similarly gained during a fall experienced during a particularly wild red horse ride…or two!
I stick with my original advice – Foreigner, drink this at your peril – anyone actually drunk this stuff and disagree, willl turn your world into a numb like, care-free dream – careful!
Lakas Tama!!! Rock and roll !!
i tried it in the philippines and get it now in the us it is alot more expensive 11.00 for 6 bottles.
the best beer strong and yet good………
hahahaha….I like reading your blog..especially this one coz I read some funny thoughts about not drinking a real horse…hahaha..I am laughing my ass off with these…Makawa sa problema…One thing I notice, younger adults like me prefer red horse than San Mig coz my dad likes San Mig than red horse…
the devil poem
i had a taste of you
now i cant seem to break through
under your spell im forever stucked into
wohoo!! red horse I LOVE YOU
Hahaha – the RH effect!
ReDHorSe CaN makE u haPPy When Sleep!!
haha!!
rEdHorSe ito ang tama!!
lakas!!
sipa!!
..I don’t have war wounds with RH….hell… my friends thinks that of all the alcohol drinkins that they consume…RH is the one that keeps me quiet and a “good” boy…haha….
I drink it alone…no better companion…
yeah red horse
maka boang ni simon!
mo.knock out sa koreano
mipatiurok sa amerikano
pero mopalagsik sa cebuano
wahahaha..
red horse!!
In cebu at the moment on biz, I can attest to the potency of this stuff… Back home a casual night involves 8-12 beers/shots and gets worse from there. This stuff though…. First night tried one at the end of the night, thought to myself “tastes great!” Next day had it exclusively drinking at my standard pace, not the best of ideas… At some point after the 7th I came to realize that it was time to get my butt off the streets LOL. I’m out here by myself and not familiar with the area, even well on the path to inebriation I realized becoming stupid drunk would be a bad idea. Everyone should try one as it is a great beer though.
samot na og gipaningot pa pagkuha gkan sa cooler…haha…
alcohol % is 7 in redhorse
mabuhay!
That is a really useful and informative guide. I’m going to try and keep a copy in my bag until i get used to what to watch out for.
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red horse beer can satisfy u only 1 & 3 bottles if u exceed to more than that number u have no idea what youve say and done. think 10 times before u consume red horse. if u feel dizzy and cant control ur emotion stop drinking go in bed for safety precaution.
My gf tried a couple of longnecks of red horse… I thought she was possessed, or having a stroke.. I was so,so worried. Came good next morning, did drink for a few days though.
Red Horse is aprrox. 6.8% like written on the bottle! Much like a Duvel in Belgium thats almost 8%